They say change is as good as a holiday and I certainly daydream constantly about all the things I want to change – about my life, my home, my work, my time and myself. Sometimes I think I become so caught up in thinking about all the possible other directions in life I could take, that I forget to appreciate the now.
Do you find that?
I very much notice and appreciate the small things, all the time. Yet I am a huge daydreamer. I also get restless feet and love to travel, especially with my family, and love nothing better than hitting the road and driving off on an adventure. My husband and I spend hours and hours talking about, thinking about and exploring, the idea of moving to a more rural lifestyle with our boys. This has been an ongoing theme for probably the past decade
I am a nester. A home changer. Someone who likes to shift furniture, plump cushions, try new throws and add new rugs. We love our home and have spent a lot of time and energy making improvements. We also love the convenience of close city suburban living, while being in a gorgeous area (but not a great street!) near the foothills. Yet, when I look out from our deck across the neighbour’s back yard and see a forest of weeds, and the other side looking like it needs demolishing, or hear the young men across the road arguing, or notice the traffic – I dream of a simpler, more peaceful life.
I know from growing up in the country that there are still unkempt yards, noisy neighbours, and stress. I know it is a fantasy to think moving house will make your life different. I know there are stressors in the country that are not experienced in the city – such as a lack of health care services, feeling isolated, access to schools and university for our children – to name a few. This yearning period for a country life, has probably happened more often since we had our now 5 year old and grew older ourselves. That sense of when is ever the right time, seems stronger. We know we don’t want to move our middle son, now in year 9, once he hits year 11, or even too far into his year 10 next year. So maybe we feel more of a sense of urgency.
It also seems there are always reasons not to move, such as:
– it is not the right time for one or all of the children with their schooling, university, work opportunities;
– there are not enough emergency health services (with my type 1 diabetes and other conditions and young children this is a big factor for me);
– I will be away from my parents and my support network and child care;
– My hubby will have to find new social networks and sport outlets;
– I will have to commute for meetings and trips to the airport for interstate meetings and conferences etc;
– Good Internet connection is huge for me running a national online counselling service and being a pro-blogger;
– I have multiple businesses to run and manage;
– Breaking into a new community can be hard for kids;
– etc etc
And so, we look, we dream and then we stop and settle where we are. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean we are unhappy, we are not. It is just something inexplicable that happens to both of us, regularly. So does that mean something?
The most recent urge was last weekend, after getting an email from a real estate agent about a gorgeous looking and sounding home in the stunning Barossa Valley. We love the ocean and this is always a draw card area for us, adore the hills (but would not live there due to bushfire risks and driving down on icy roads and fog), so we often end up with the Barossa as a good choice for us.
We headed out there on Sunday and the house was not right. Of course! There is however another home we could not see inside at the time, which appears on paper to tick all our boxes and we did a drive by and have spoken to the agent, who says we can look this weekend.
So, now our heads are full of “how to’s”. These are the things that happen when we start with this urge – the how we would manage making sure we saw my parents each week? How I would plan a fortnightly day in Adelaide at my offices to meet with my team and board members? Would that work? How we would get the kids to the local schools and settled in? How we would sell our own home (and that is a huge barrier) and make the move? How would we manage if the kids or I got really sick?….blah blah blah…..
So, here I am, sitting and pondering a huge lifestyle change, once again…. I say pondering because, as usual, it is all pie in the sky, having not even seen this house yet! And having all of those “how to’s” to contend with. In fact, the Barossa is just 40 minutes from my hubby’s work and an hour from my parents and my office, so we are not exactly talking isolation here. It is a tourist mecca and well serviced. It has all the things we would ever need. So half of me yearns. Half of me worries and wants to stay safely and conveniently put with my happy, easy and settled life.
Shall we go and look at this house on the weekend and tempt the toppling of our status quo? I wonder, in this short and sweet life, is it greedy to want an “other”? Should we stick with what we have when it is perfectly lovely and sweetly secure? Is it wrong to want to have a different life? Or is it a mid life crisis or a dream?
I am not sure what the answer is, what do you think? Do you have a similar story to share or have you made a move to a more rural area and what was it like?